Luckybeans

I Sat Down and This Appeared

Simon said the other day, after reading the blog as he got ready for bed in Zambia (which is where his bed is these days), "You lead a funny sort of double life."

I knew what he meant. I spend my days in tightly choreographed motion (dance would imply far more grace than this reality of mine): I am easily overwhelmed by it all. I feel like I am guiding a suspect dinghy through deep waters and bailing for all I am worth without even knowing the first thing about nautical-type stuff. We have children who are at various stages in their lives, all of them demanding. Tomorrow I have meetings at the school regarding special concerns for two of them. We are active participants in not one, but two, Baha'i communities. I still have to manage things like laundry and food for everyone and keeping a clean house. And I am a full-time student with a very heavy course load. So. There is that. It is real and often messy (if not downright ugly), and generally not easy to either document or share. Becasue really, a lot of it has to do with issues of privacy, and also, how do I take photos of draft three of the same chapter of an unfinished book? Should I honestly be discussing the ins and outs of quantitative corpus analysis and situational charactersitics? Plate techtonics? Not so much? 

Which all means that what you see here, in this space, is a sliver, a wedge, a small portion of the days and events that form our days. It is, I dare say, the very nature of the medium. 

Lately, I have been wondering about this space. I'm not all that happy with it, to be honest. The design is tired. The comments few and far between.

But. Here's the thing: if I blog things here, it means I have noticed them. It means I have found some bits and pieces in the whirlwind of days to linger over, to hold tight, to record because I just can't bear to forget them. It ensures that the moments of joy and beauty are remembered and acknowledged.

It works both ways, too. If I'm not taking any photos, if words aren't coming, I know things just aren't right in my world. It helps me seek these things out, even when I am sure it is quite impossible.

So here I am, in a funny corner of the internet, perched on a fugly design in dire need of updating, not sure who is even out there, but glad to be here. I'll keep on bailing. Because in the end, it is worth it. And all the friends who I happen to bump into in this leaky old dinghy of mine? An incredible, unexpected pleasure that brightens even the darkest of my days. Consider yourselves the life jackets that appeared from nowhere, or a bird swooping overhead, or the dizzying diamonds of bright sunlight between breaks in the cloud, or some other equally lovely, metaphor appropriate thing.

Well. I'm not entirely sure where any of this came from. But here it is. And now I must run off to class, so I haven;t even spell-checked. Yikes!

(Oh, and also-- spring in Oregon is spectacular):

Little Bits

Just a few things we did around the house last week that were fun.

Ana made a model of a dna strand complete with phosphorous and start and stop codons.

She and Asher also made bouncy balls..

...and fake snow (and Asher made his hedgehog a cardboard and duct tape house).

Nothing earth shattering. Except perhaps the sunlight in those photos.

It's Here

The summer activity wall is up (this has to be one of my most brilliant ideas ever; there is always something here we can find to do, and we can add new ideas, too).

Popsicles are made (a new flavour each batch-- so far we have had horchata, cherry, and this one is strawberry-honeydew).

Peas are here.

Sheets are out on the line, and fresh on the bed.

New things are blooming in forgotten corners.

Lunches and towels are packed up.

Silliness also transports well.

And a bit of time spent splashing, dabbling, and actually swimming is very well spent indeed.

The wind shifts this evening. Rain from the coast is imminent. Back to soups and tea and such, but we are confident now that summer will come flying out again soon enough.

The Longest Day

And at times, it really did feel that way.

For a little while Asher had a cramping stomach that elicited much moaning, groaning and contorting on his part and the making of mint tea on mine. He told me as he was going to sleep that he had said the Remover of Difficulties prayer, so he was not sure if that was what worked, or the tea, or the herbal medicine, or getting to watch a movie. Perhaps a bit of it all combined.

I went to the dentist for a cleaning. He accompanied me, and we walked there and back without stepping on any cracks in the sidewalk. He's great fun one on one, you know.

It is that time when raspberries and strawberries overlap. Here is this morning's bowl.

While that was lovely, the children had an absolutely terrible time of it doing the dishes. Why is this so hard? They do it every single night.

I weeded the garden, transplanted a bit, re-buried the potatoes in straw. It is starting to grow, suddenly, all at once! Hurrah! Strawberries, raspberries, artichokes, swiss chard, lettuces, radishes, peas, onions-- it feels bountiful. Although there is a fungus that some of the tomatoes brought with them as seedlings, and now I am having to go to battle.

I am also enjoying eating outside again, and seeing the woodland bed slowly fill in. It is gratifying to remember that when we came here, there was nothing growing back here except for the two trees and a hideous "water feature" where the raised beds now sit.

In the true spirit of solstice, I did a final wash of all of our wool sweaters and undershirts. I may want them again in three days, but they will be clean anyway.

Ana also made lotion (are you interested in a tutorial?) and tapioca pudding. The lotion was made with wild rose water. The tapioca pudding was topped with melting hood strawberries.

And that, my dears, is all for now.

 

The Problem with Reading Poetry

Most people, most days, can certainly appreciate beauty in their lives. It is hard, for example, to be entirely unmoved by a riot of rain-spattered rhododendorons reaching some three meters into the air over one's head.

But when I spend too much time digesting poetry, I begin to become affected. I stop to note the drops on the ends of fir needles, and then the ombre effect of the new growth layered against the old. 

I wander through the ruins of the barn and abandoned house next door, quite heedless of the fact that I am soaking the bottoms of my trousers, because I suddenly observe that the piles of rust and shattered wood and peeling paint are most beautiful and intriguing after all.

The pocket of my coat acquired a hole, and two pennies slipped down into the lining, clinking copper faces softly together in the hem as I walked. "Ah," I thought. "There must be poetry in this."

I fear I shall never get anything done again.

How to Spend a Saturday Night

Invite grandma to spend it with you. Pick her lots of flowers. She will even mow the lawn for you, especially if you feed her frittata and artichokes fresh from the garden.

Obtain the first Harry Potter movie from the library. Make sure everyone is suitably excited and attired.

Provide authentic edibles.

Relax and enjoy (even if you don't make it past the first hour and a hlaf as the rest is full of scary bits).

 

Happy Days Are Here Again

I can't believe I wrote that. Particularly as I don't even know what that cliche is referencing. Hmn.

All of the decorations are up, from the dots to the pocket board to the lovely flowers from the Lapotres. The perfume of a single blooming hyacinth is just right.

Ayyam'i'Ha is sometimes called "the days outside of time", which is absolutely magical if ever anything were. It is a time to focus on family and community, gift-giving, hospitality and charity. And so we apply ourselves as best we can, a few days of joy and festivity before we begin the period of fasting.

The children (and Simon, Grandma and I) made gifts for their friends-- mushroom pencils inspired by this post.

Grandma even came and spent the night (she might again later this week).

We brought Grandpa bags of cookies, both for himself and to share with the friends and staff who visit and help care for him.

We went to a big community party and hosted a smaller one in our home. Over the next few days, many special meals will be prepared and shared.

The girls are participating in a habitat restoration project, and Asher packed a big bag of food to donate to the food bank.

Of course there are gift exchanges occurring at home as well. I try to keep things somewhat moderate. We started with gifts that focused on an activity each child might enjoy. Ana received a stamp-carving set I assembled for her, greatly inspired by Gennine's work; Bella got a new apron, a mini-cupcake maker, and decorations (she also got an electric mixer from my mother!); Asher finally got his real drum, brought back from Malawi and made with the proper wood.

I am particularly fond of this gift: mug of tea with a handstitched tiny button tag.

Full, sweet days, squeezed in around schedules determined by a world that doesn't pause to accomodate them. But, oh! We enjoy them all the same.

Hidden Words Numbers 16 and 17

Oops. I keep forgetting to post these. Ahem.

Hidden Word 16 is:

O SON OF LIGHT!

Forget all save Me and commune with My spirit. This is of the essence of My command, therefore turn unto it.

~Baha'u'llah

For this one, we discussed that forgetting everything except for God isn't so much about spending your life sitting in a cave doing nothing but praying and meditating. Instead, it is about bringing that prayerful state and approach into our daily actions. 

To help us be mindful of times when we remembered to do this, we made simple books (card paper covers hole-punched and all bound together with binder rings) to record some of these times over the course of the week.

 

Please excuse the bad lighting, bed-heads and pajamas. Reality.

 

 

Hidden Word 17 is:

O SON OF MAN!

Be thou content with Me and seek no other helper. For none but Me can ever suffice thee.

~Baha'u'llah

Here we discussed the reliability of God; how God provides for us precisely what we need in an internal, meaningful way. We contrasted this with material happines, and also talked about the dual aspects of God as the Omnipotent (all powerful) and the Omniscient (all knowing). This in turn led us to refelct on the importance of trusting in the Will of God and adapting a grateful attitude, even in apparantly difficult times (something I have been thinking about a LOT recently). We actually talked quite a lot and had to stop for a tea/snack break.

We then did simple crayon drawings of times when we had called for help, or times when we need to do so more!

 

A bit more sunshine was around this time! The things we identified were: when Lukas and April moved away (Bella), controling her temper (Ana), balancing the many demands and responsibilities I have (me) and dealing with other people's less-than-positive emotions (Asher).

Hidden Word Number Ten

This week's Hidden Word:

O SON OF UTTERANCE!

Thou art My stronghold; enter therein that thou mayest abide in safety. My love is in thee, know it, that thou mayest find Me near unto thee.

~Baha'u'llah

Discussion:

The last Hidden Word told us that God's love was our stronghold-- now He is telling us that we are! What does this mean? 

How do we enter into our own selves? What kind of "self" is that?

Is it comforting to know how close God is to us? Is it a little bit scary, too? 

If God is in me, is He in everyone? How should we treat them? What part of them should we address?

 

 
 

Activities:

Right now there are lots of acorns around. An acorn is a symbol that is used a lot because inside this small nut, the mighty oak tree is hidden. That is like God's love hiding inside of us. As a reminder of hidden potentialities, we made felted acorns. We wet felted balls, let them dry overnight and then glued them into collected caps. I love seeing them sitting in the living room as a reminder of who we truly are. I also thought the idea of making these necklaces with felted acorns would be lovely (this link has clear instructions for wet felting, too).

We have been doing these Hidden Words as a famliy for a while now, and this time spent together is something I have really come to enjoy. So often, we get caught up in the whirlwind of chores and activities, that taking these few minutes to stop and discuss meaningful things, and create something together, is a precious time. It doesn't matter what exactly we do, but it does matter that we do it, and regularly. 

 

HIdden Word Number Seven

Sorry! Just realised I didn't post this earlier. We did this while we were at the Coast.

This week's Hidden Word:

O SON OF MAN!

If thou lovest Me, turn away from thyself; and if thou seekest My pleasure, regard not thine own; that thou mayest die in Me and I may eternally live in Thee.

~Baha'u'llah

Questions/ Discussion:

What does it mean to turn away from yourself? What part of yourself does that mean? Why would you do that if you love God?

It’s kind of strange to think of death leading to life. Use the example of the caterpillar “dying” so that a butterfly can be born. The whole idea of sacrifice leading to transformation and growth is incredibly powerful.

Activity:

Make a felt model of the butterfly life cycle. (I'm sorry I didn't do any instructions here; it is really very simple using a combination of cutting out felt with minimal sewing and needle feltng).